A big welcome to Jess Farchione, our newest Newcastle Weekly contributor.
One of the biggest fights I have ever had with my mum was over a jumper in the snowfields of New Zealand.
I desperately wanted a souvenir hoodie with the names of all the amazing peaks we had skied the past week emblazoned on the sleeves: The Remarkables. Cardrona. Coronet Peak. Treble Cone.
I wanted this jumper with the white-hot passion that only exists in 15-year-old girls who decide their life is meaningless without that certain THING.
My mum – refused… because it was two sizes too small and barely fit over my head.
The gift shop had sold out of anything larger and this was the only size available.
My mum calmly pointed that not only did I look ridiculous, the jumper was very clearly restricting most of my movement and asked how could I possibly be comfortable in it?
It was like my brain chemistry completely changed in that instant.
Jess Farchione
Did I appreciate any of this sound and rational logic at the time?
Of course not. I was 15 and enraged and I, subsequently, ruined the rest of our time in NZ with my sour attitude.
It’s taken almost 20 years, but I think I’ve finally come to terms with what the hell was going on in my 15-year-old brain back in that Queenstown gift shop.
For as long as I can remember, I have chosen, purchased and worn clothes that are too tight. That are uncomfortable, ill-fitting and just plain wrong for my body.
I have never owned a pair of jeans I felt good in.
I have always judged my tummy and thighs for not behaving (or looking) the way they “should”.
Until I fell pregnant at the beginning of the year.
It was like my brain chemistry completely changed in that instant… which it probably did in many ways.
I no longer saw my body as something to be shamed by the societal pressure placed on how women should look.
I refused to squeeze my growing belly into garments that were downright uncomfortable.
I started appreciating that this amazing body of mine was getting bigger in growing my daughter, and it deserved to be celebrated, nurtured, respected and loved.
I vow never to go back to the way my brain was.
I refuse to see the size of a garment as a reflection of my value or my body’s worth any longer and will only choose, purchase and wear clothes that feel good on my skin.
And, I will only buy jeans (and jumpers) that I feel GREAT in.
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